Thursday, January 14, 2010

I'm going to be 40 someday (soon!)

I'm turning 40 in one month. FORTY! That sounds so old. Statistically speaking my life is half over... or half full depending on how you look at it. I don't feel forty. A girl at my acupuncturist's office says I don't look forty. But Wii Fit says I'm fifty-three so who's to say?

Honestly, the whole idea of forty doesn't bother me much. Thirty was much harder. Then I was single, in a dead-end job, and hadn't won the Pulitzer Prize. Certainly I expected to be married with children and happily juggling a successful career with family. God obviously had other plans for me, and I couldn't be happier now a decade later. I met Jeff a month after my thirtieth birthday, we married a few years later, I was laid off from my dead-end job which forced me into a new field, we bought an amazing house in a wonderful neighborhood (with equally wonderful neighbors!!), and then we struggled for four years with [in]fertility. OK, that sucked. And pretty much blemishes my otherwise idyllic thirties. Then we got the BFP. In [in]fertility circles that means Big. Fat. Positive. And this time it didn't end too soon in miscarriage. Albeit a couple of hurdles with trips to the ER. But the Big Man had our back the whole time. Sean was born when I was thirty-seven. And you all know he's the cutest little boy who ever lived. I'm super lucky and blessed.

And now forty is sneaking up on me. We just successfully enjoyed the holidays. And Sean's second birthday. And we're frantically preparing and packing for a road trip and vacation to Disney World. And then **BAM** I'll be forty. Yikes! Did I say that sounds old? I'm going to try not to think about.

Can you tell this birthday has made me just a little bit introspective? Last night Jeff and I talked about life. Specifically what's most important to us, and how we could ensure those things were being nurtured and loved. It's the beginning of a new year, a new decade for me, and Lent is right around the corner which is a perfect time to strip down, focus and reconnect. We're going to flesh out what this means to our everyday life on our twenty hour road trip (yes, twenty hours!). Stay tuned.

Oh yea. We're going to Disney World!! I know, it's BIG. And probably more worthy of a blog entry today. Saturday morning we leave at 5am to go pick up my in-laws and spend the next 20 hours or so together in tight space with nowhere to go except a dirty gas station bathroom every couple of hours. It's gonna be an adventure. Don't worry, the laptop is coming with me. And I'm gonna blog so you can live vicariously through my almost-forty vacation to Disney World. And so there is proof that I live to tell the tale.

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