Saturday, June 2, 2012

31 Things :: Story 11 - Nourish

I’m an emotional eater. The thought of food never even entered my mind when I heard the word “nourish”, because I don’t equate food with nourishing my body. Well, my head does but not my heart. My heart wants chocolate around the middle of the day to soothe my stress. My heart wants PB&J for lunch with Doritos because that’s what I had every day for lunch when I was a kid, and it makes me feel good. My heart wants Oreos & milk after I finish grading finals as a reward for a job well done. My days are constant battle thinking about food and internal debates and negotiations with myself.
At the beginning of this year I made the decision to start a 31 day no sugar, no carb, no dairy diet plan in order to help me curb my sugar addiction. And I did AWESOME! Honestly, it was the grace of God that I found it so easy. For the first time ever I had changed my diet drastically with the intent of losing weight but also to change my lifestyle… and I didn’t want to gnaw off my left arm! I lost 8 pounds in the first week, and 20 pounds by week 6. Woohoo. I was on a roll and felt I finally found something that could work for me.

Then unexpectedly we got pregnant, and just as quickly we found out it wasn’t viable. It was ectopic, and we miscarried. I was able to hold myself together for the most part, and stuck to the new diet. Until I started to cramp & bleed, and the emotional floodgates opened wide. My comfort foods were back.
I’ve been slowly trying to get back to what I was doing – no sugar, no carbs – but it’s been hard, and I can’t pinpoint why. I pray for the strength and wisdom and grace to learn that food is for nourishing my body, not my heart.

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs and sausage or a protein smoothie. A banana is usually in the mix. If the blender isn’t clean, and we are out of eggs, I resort to cereal or toast but it’s not often.
Lunch: Leftovers from dinner the night before <or> Salad – romaine lettuce, celery, green pepper, cucumber, avocado, and turkey or chicken topped with either homemade mayo or store bought Italian dressing <or> PB&J with Doritos if it’s “one of those kinds of days”

Dinner: I try to stick to a protein dish plus a veggie. It all depends on the day, and what we have in the house. Chicken, beef, or pork are pretty standard fare. We rarely eat fish unless it’s tuna salad. Unfortunately takeout sneaks into our diet more than I would like.

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