Monday, May 28, 2012

31 Things :: Story 6 - Dear Me

Dear 16 year old me,

I swear I was just you yesterday, but my size 20 jeans tell me it was long ago. You look gorgeous in your size 13 jeans. Don’t beat yourself up for not being a size 6. Embrace yourself. That perm on the other hand I’d advise not doing again. The 80’s were not kind when it came to fashion.

I’m 42 years old now. I know you’re thinking that by 42 you’d like to be a Pulitzer prize-winning author or the President of a local small business, happily married to your college sweetheart and raising three teenagers on the east coast. Well, your world is about to get rocked. But chin up, it only lasts a short time and I promise you that God has bigger plans for you. You’re going to move across country and attend three high schools by the time you graduate. Ouch. It sucks, I know. But believe me when I say you will grow to become a strong, patient, independent woman because of it. Even though you have your heart set on Penn State, you’ll attend Indiana University and have the time of your life (don’t be stupid when you study overseas in the Netherlands. It’s best to just avoid alcohol altogether). The Midwest will be your home, and you won’t be able to imagine it any other way.

Life is not always going to go the way you want but that’s OK. Trust your instincts and trust God. I promise He won’t let you down. You’ll lose your job, your dad will die unexpectedly, you’ll face infertility, and miscarry a few babies. None of this is what you have planned for your life, but trust me when I say you’ll be fine. Your faith is strong, and you’ll surround yourself with good people. My 42 year old self needs to remind herself of this often.

Get ready 16 year old me, because all of your dreams will come true plus more! Stop worrying about your love life because you’ll meet the most wonderful man on the internet (you don’t know what that is yet, but it’s going to connect people and information like you’ve never imagined), and get married. You’ll have an amazing son who will remind you how loved and blessed you are. You’ll love being a mom. Your favorite part of the day will be first thing in the morning when Sean smiles at you. But you’ll battle with him daily to clean up his toys. The apple does not fall far from the tree when it comes to being messy. You will dream of having more children, and take a risk by pursuing adoption. That might be hard for your 16 year old mind to grasp, but you will be amazed how much love your heart can hold if you allow it.

You have been and will continue to be a perfectionist to a fault, but we’re working on that. It’s hard to be everything to everybody, and you’ll often get overwhelmed by what you believe is being expected of you. Keep the house clean & tidy, stay ahead of grading papers, play & do crafts with Sean, eat right, exercise, be a super mom, cultivate your creativity, and more. Be gentle and remind yourself to continue working on being the best ME you can be in each moment. Be content.

 “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around, it may pass you by.”  -- Ferris Bueller*

*Go see this movie next month – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. It’s going to be one of your favorite movies of all time!

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