I wanna be like you

Oh, oobee do
I wanna be like you
I wanna walk like you
Talk like you, too
You'll see its true
An ape like me
Can learn to be human too

-- The Monkey Song, from "The Jungle Book"

I've started to listen to my Disney Collection CDs to create that Disney, happy kind of mood wherever I go. We leave for the happiest place on earth in less than 2 weeks. And planning and preparing for the trip is almost as fun as the trip itself. So, I'm on my way to the outlet mall today -- all by myself, which is a treat in itself -- and I find myself smiling when this song from "The Jungle Book" starts playing. You can't help but sing along with it, and maybe even bop your head back and forth too. It's catchy and fun. But beyond this, the lyrics bring three very different, but profound, thoughts to my otherwise preschool brain.

1) Like the ape, I want to be like you. "You" of course being an imaginary "me" who is thinner, prettier, happier, richer, etc., etc. Why is it that we always want to be like someone else? Part of me believes it's good to want to always strive to be better than we are today. Yet, that's the part of me that's always making excuses. The real blessing in life is to love who you are today, in the body you have today, in the house you own today, with the family you have today. I love who I am today -- a mom, a wife, a teacher, a friend, a daughter, and a sister. And I just told my husband earlier today that I love our house. It's really become a home now that Sean has arrived and appears to be staying for a while. And I've always loved my family, including my friends who I consider my family too. But I certainly don't love my body. In fact, I don't even like most of it. For me, 3 out of 4 ain't bad... but it doesn't make me complete. My hope and pray for 2009 is to be healthier than I am today and to like my body no matter its weight or shape.

2) A completely different profound thought: The ape goes on to say, "What I desire is man's red fire to make my dreams come true". This led me to think what it might have been like for the first man or woman who discovered fire. Did they come about it on accident? from a lightening strom? Or did they discover it on their own doing? And then imagine their feelings and expression... awe? wonder? fear? excitement? And do you think they burned themselves badly the first time? Further, I worry about the other people who didn't "discover" it first. Do you think some were jealous? Or did they try and try like hell to start their own fire only to throw down their sticks in frustration like they do on Survivor? We'll never know, but I'm sure the Geico caveman might have some insights for us.

3) The last thought I had was of my dad. This is the kind of song that always reminds me of him. It fits his personality, and I can see him dancing around singing the song. He loved to be goofy at times, and listening to this song made me miss him... fondly. I'm sad Sean won't know him in this life, but I'll try like hell to make sure he knows his Grandpa and what he was like. And perhaps Sean will want to be someone like him.

So maybe my three thoughts weren't so unrelated. OK, the fire was a bit random. You have to admit that it would be cool to have been the first person to discover fire, wouldn't it?

I'm official

This morning marked a new beginning for me. I woke up at 7am... ok, 7:10am after hitting the snooze... and dragged my tired ass downstairs to exercise. Leslie Sansone (walk away the pounds) can be REALLY annoying this early in the morning, but I have to say the workout was great. I did 2 miles and was ever so happy when I started to hear Sean stir in his crib which meant I couldn't possibly do all 4 miles. But 2 miles is good, right? Especially considering I haven't moved this sorry ass of mine in any type of exercise for well over 4 weeks. But no more excuses. I must get healthy.

And by 9am Sean and I were both dressed and out the door. Heavens be praised!! Most mornings we are both still in our PJs and no where near ready -- physically or mentally -- to walk out the door into the real world. Today was Sean's first Tot Rock class through the park district. Whew! Talk about a workout. Miss Kim can kick Leslie Sansone's ass any day. How come it seemed like I was only one sweating? I wanted to scream, "who else walked away the pounds this morning before coming here?" Honestly, it wasn't much of a workout as it was chasing Sean around a room making sure he didn't pull down tables on top of unsuspecting kids, or grab the bean bags away from the cute little girl with no hair. And perhaps my adrenaline was pumping being the first time I've taken my little guy into a structured social environment. He did fine. I'm not so sure about his mom.

So, it's official - I'm a Tot Rock mom! It feels good to say it.